138: Consent & Boundaries for Allies of Sexual Assault Victims & Survivors

Sarah Hughes-Zabawa, LCSW, and Jennifer White, CSW, join Natasha to discuss consent and ways that we can better equip ourselves whether as leaders in the church, family members, supports and allies for anyone that has had to deal with any type of sexual assault.

Discussed in this topic are articles including, “Myths about Rape”  and “How to Teach Consent to Kids” from everydyafeminism.com:

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/02/how-to-teach-consent-to-kids/

Natasha Helfer Parker runs an online practice, Symmetry Solutions and writes at The Mormon Therapist for Patheos: Hosting the Conversation of Faith. She also hosts the popular podcasts, Mormon Mental Health & Mormon Sex Info and creates the sex educational resource, Sex Talk with Natasha.

1 comment for “138: Consent & Boundaries for Allies of Sexual Assault Victims & Survivors

  1. Greg Lewis
    May 5, 2018 at 7:40 pm

    I love the podcast and the importance of the work you are all brave enough to standforth and tackle head on.
    I say this, even as I uncover my own troubled past and history of crossing boundaries and continuing the horrific cycle of inappropriate boundaries. It saddens me that I thought I was being appropriate with boundaries and come to find out I wasn’t a horrible person but I definitely violated boundaries.
    I think about the almost 9 years I was married and all the night I work up wanting more and “poked” my wife and she rolled over and away I went. Little did i know I was taking advantage of my wife. Hell, it took a major and massive stroke in my brain stem to “re-wire” my view and understanding boundaries.
    Unfortunately, I’ve tried several time to apologize and show my wife I’ve changed but every (and I mean every time for any little thing) I talk about a more appropriate behavior and begging (for lack of a better word) for forgiveness, I get that look of “now you’re on your way to being apostate” and an argument ensues. I can only slow change my behavior which is difficult at best but I’m trying to blaze a new trail, alone. My wife doesn’t believe me when I say I violated her boundaries. And now that we can’t really have traditional intercourse it is almost like I own her sexuality but I do not control it. Not that I want control but when it’s that fabled day (sadly maybe 1x month but whatever) arrives she makes no moves and asked me to basically grant her permission to be sexual. Though that feels completely wrong to me. Plus I feel that she feels it is her obligation to me but I know it’s not. And because she feels it’s her obligation, I don’t really feel wanted and I want to be wanted I can’t really explain it
    I just wish I could talk to her about it but she refuses to listen or learn or read or pretty much anything.

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