106: Professional Response to “…From a Wife of a Porn Addict” Part 2

Four Certified Sex Therapists who routinely work with Mormon clientele offer a response to An Open Letter to Bishops from a Wife of a Pornography Addict: 7 Things I Wish You Knew.  Natasha Helfer Parker, Kristin Hodson, Kristin Marie Bennion and Shannon Hickman lead a thorough discussion walking listeners through both the clinically sound parts of the piece, as well as the perspectives they consider misinformed, inappropriate or even harmful to potential readers and ecclesiastical leaders.

Rethinking infidelity … a talk for anyone who has ever loved by Ester Perel

The Myth of Sex Addiction by David Ley

Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior: Rethinking Sex Addiction by Braun-Harvey and Vigorito

Op-ed: Utah students need real sex ed, not ‘Fight the New Drug’

OUR WHOLE LIVES: LIFESPAN SEXUALITY EDUCATION

aasect.org

His Porn, Her Pain: Confronting America’s PornPanic with Honest Talk About Sex by Marty Klein

Al Vernacchio: Sex needs a new metaphor. Here’s one …

Tina Sellers

BYU Study – Damaged Goods: Perception of Pornography Addiction as a Mediator Between Religiosity and Relationship Anxiety Surrounding Pornography Use

Mormon Mental Health Association

Rocky Mountain Sex Summit

Mormon Sex Info

Natasha Helfer Parker, LCMFT, CST runs an online practice, Symmetry Solutions, which focuses on helping families and individuals with faith concerns, sexuality and mental health. She writes at The Mormon Therapist for Patheos: Hosting the Conversation of Faith, runs Mormon Sex Info and is the current president for the Mormon Mental Health Association.

2 comments for “106: Professional Response to “…From a Wife of a Porn Addict” Part 2

  1. Lorena
    June 2, 2017 at 12:23 pm

    Natasha, I saw that you posted links to these two episodes over on A Thoughtful Faith facebook group. I was hesitant to listen as I find these topics very triggering as my husband once had a 30-year issue with pornography. I love everything you and the panelists said. Everything was handled delicately and with the utmost compassion for the original podcast over on Leading LDS which I listened to a while ago. I wrote a similar “letter” a few years ago to my stake president and he in turn distributed it to the bishops in my stake. If I could go back I would remove the term ‘addict’ and replace it with better, less shaming language.

    There’s nothing quite so traumatizing as finding out my best friend lied to me for a couple decades, so thank you, all of you, for handling this topic so well.

  2. Patrick
    August 14, 2017 at 10:07 am

    I appreciated the mention of this in the podcast but would like a whole podcast dedicated to the power dynamics related to the sexual narrative within LDS marriages.

    The Mormon sexual script is so limited that any spouse whose sexual desires/interests/quirks etc. lands outside the official script automatically must take the one down position. There is no room for a spouse, man or woman, to own the aspects of their sexuality that they may be comfortable with but can’t or won’t be validated by the spouse or community.

    For example, a spouse manages a desire discrepancy by masturbating and feels no internal conflict. He or she must still adopt the position of the betrayer and deviant if the low desire spouse does not approve. Any sex therapist knows that the lower desire spouse controls sex (unless one is married to a rapist) but, in an LDS marriage, the low desire spouse or spouse with the more limited sexual script controls the entire narrative.

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